Driz 12:34 Fri Jul 22
Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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As it says on the tin.
The boy is west ham too so it seems appropriate to ask you lunatics. Credits will be given in my best man speech.
Answers in by Saturday morning. Channel your inner genius folks.
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Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
Marston Hammer
8:48 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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I've been advised not to mention the groom's exes. All I will say in their defence though is that they did raise a lot of money for Movember.
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Hasans Fish Bar RIP
8:43 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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An alternative to Bertie's I heard
I'm sorry if I come across as nervous.. the last time I stood up in front of so many people I pleaded not guilty
It got a laugh
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connolly8
8:40 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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I've got to do one for someone I've known about 4 years. Dreading it.
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bertie
8:39 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Could try at the beginning.
Sorry if I come across as nervous, the only other time I've had to speak in public I was with (x). But all we had to do was confirm our names and addresses. ( Pause)Well they looked over 16 to me.
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w4hammer
6:26 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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short , to the point, and save the cringe./embarassing stuff for the bar afterwards...
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Dr Moose
6:23 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Done 2, smashed both of them nothing to this speaking in public lark.
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i-Ron
12:54 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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I thought I wrote a brilliant one for my best mate....and i completely fucking ruined it with the delivery. I didn't use any generic or stuff used elsewhere apart from follow the structure.
Was fucking awful though.
Watched it back about a year later and just cringe at how bad i am speaking in public.
I was half a best man - and the other bloke I did it with delivered it brilliantly. I'd written the whole thing myself, really pissed me off after how everyone said he was funny.
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dealcanvey
12:52 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Being (insert name) best man is a bit like shagging the queen. It's a privilege but no one really wanted to do it.
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master
12:42 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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"Ladles and jellyspoons..."
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the exile
12:40 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Went to a wedding once where the best man was really harsh about the groom - it was just awful and embarrassing, partly because he thought he was being funny but mainly because everyone knew that most of it was true.
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Barmy Fred
12:27 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Done the one where the best man goes on about his previous conquests and says that they need to return the keys to his flat / house / boat / caravan - or whatever.
Prior to the meal the best man hands out keys to various women men? granny for a laugh etc
He asks for the keys back and they come up to give them back and all laugh at the procession of fit / ugly / old and related women coming up
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jayjones
11:46 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Isnt Driz the groom and he is asking for advise on writing a speech about the best man? At least that is how I have read the title of the thread
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Darlo Debs
2:00 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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I think I'd have to go with Nurses advice on this one.
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les marteaux
1:56 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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You could say: In the first few months you will do everything but eat her, after that you'll wish you had.
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HairyHammer
1:54 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Just pay an Actress to walk in with a crying baby shouting the grooms name and how he cannot betray his new baby.
A joke too far maybe, but an ever lasting memory without doubt.
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Driz
1:12 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Is one post on topic a WHO record?
Thanks Nurse.
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Raymond Reddington
12:52 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Always finish with " but in all honesty, I've never seen (insert grooms name) so happy as when (insert brides name) agreed to put her finger in he's ring.
Thank you and enjoy the night
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Eerie Descent
12:52 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Credits will be given in the speech?
"Yeah, there was this one time that he was in a lift with the lovely bride and 4 other people, they'd had a curry a few hours before, she farted, followed through, and shit just rolled down her legs. Thanks to Son Of Anarchy from the West Ham website WHO for that one."
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Nagel
12:48 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Tell him that his wedding night will be like his first experience of going to West Ham at the Olympic Stadium.
He'll be entering a soulless cavernous place which dozens of rugby players had been in a few weeks before.
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the coming of gary
12:46 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Alex
are you ASSUMING its not a gay wedding anyway
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Alex G
12:44 Fri Jul 22
Re: Best man speech. Advice for the groom.
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Start off with "I'm not saying the groom is a homosexual but I totally bummed him last night"and you won't go far wrong.
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